Hillary Clinton and Satan Walk into a Bar. Part Four.

Shouting “Fire” in a Crowded Theater of the Absurd

Today I’m writing about that “Freedom of Speech” thing which has become very big now that Elon Musk doesn’t ban anyone from X, which used to be known as Twitter, except when he does ban people, sometimes, maybe.

But before I zero in on the “Free Speech” thing I’m going to go down a few rabbit holes, so hang on in case the ride gets a little bumpy.

A good starting point is when I was in eighth grade Civics class back in the middle of the Twentieth Century. That gets me wondering whether they still have civics classes in eighth grade. They probably do, but it’s probably not called Civics, maybe “Social Justice Class,” or Equity Education or something like that. Maybe they bring in drag queens to teach the basics, and there’s probably a test on pronouns afterwards. But I digress.

Back when I was in eighth grade our Civics teacher Mr. W. discussed the fact that there were limits to free speech. Specifically nobody had the right to shout “Fire!” in a crowded theater because the stampede could cause physical harm.

Now Mr. W. never told us that the fire/crowded theater example came from Oliver Wendell Holmes in 1919 when he was a Justice of the Supreme Court. Presumably Justice Holmes was referring to a theater where plays were performed. In fact, just about four years after I’d been in eighth grade Civics class my parents took us teenagers to see a very weird play about a rhinoceros.

I didn’t get it. It was about a guy who is troubled because all the people around him turn into rhinos (no, not RINOS, the animal rhinos) and go charging around creating havoc.

Now that I’m writing this in the month of June, 2024, does that plot point ring any bells? People all around us turning into wild beasts charging around creating havoc?

The play that us teenagers saw was in fact called Rhinoceros and was written by Eugene Ionesco, a Romanian writer who had grown up mostly in France. My favorite AI, whom I call Miss P. for Perplexity tells me…

Rhinoceros is often interpreted as an allegory for the spread of fascism in Europe before and during World War II. The play criticizes conformity, mob mentality, and the loss of individuality in the face of totalitarianism.

Uh-huh. Back when we saw the play we didn’t get it. but more than a half-century later I sure do get it now.

Again: hang in there, because I really am going to write about Freedom of Speech. Please be patient because I’m about to go down another rabbit hole.

Absurdity was a big thing in the 20th Century. The First World War, what with poison gas and machine guns and other stuff killed millions on both sides, and when the Armistice was finally signed, some were unsatisfied with the results, including one Mr. Adolf H. Then came the second World War with U-Boat sinkings of ships, carpet bombings of cities, and finally nukes. Also absurd, yes?

So, along comes the Cold War, with H-bombs, neutron bombs, and the like. Kids in school learned how to “duck and cover” under their desks, just in case. The world almost did get blown up in 1962 with the Cuban Missile Crisis.

How lucky we all are living in 2024. No more threat of nuclear obliteration. We only have to worry about global warming. Hot summers. Hurricanes. Cold winters. Oh, well, true, it’s possible the Ukraine war will escalate and Vlad P. will start firing off some nukes, or maybe the Ayatollah or Kim Jong-Un will start a nuclear war, but why worry? It’s not 1962 any more. Worry about whether your Tesla will run out of juice before you reach the glamping site. Forget nukes.

But we gotta go back to the Twentieth Century again, before we deal with Freedom of Speech. We gotta think about Martin Esslin.

Who?

Martin Esslin. A theater critic. He wrote a book about the Theater of the Absurd. Not just a book, but the book. It was 1961, and the theatrical world was knee-deep in absurdity. Waiting for Godot (Beckett.) The Bald Soprano (Ionesco.) The Zoo Story (Albee.)

So what does this have to do with shouting “Fire!” in a crowded theater?

The crowded theater in June, 2024 is Planet Earth, and now drama is streamed electronically. Even nomads in the Kalahari Desert can watch Netflix if they can get their devices charged and find the place with decent wireless bandwidth.

What does it mean to shout “Fire!” in June of 2024? Are we talking about courthouse fires in the Pacific Northwest of the USA? Are we talking about about agricultural fires in Northern Israel set by Hizbollah rockets, which everyone seems to be (temporarily, I think) ignoring? Are we talking about huge wildfires in California caused by burning underbrush which hasn’t been cleared because clearing it would not be good for the environment?

And: what does it mean to shout “Fire?” That’s the problem with Freedom of Speech.

No death threats, right? Well, okay, Death to America. That’s OK. Just don’t name the specific Americans who must die. Unless, of course, it’s Trump. Because he’s going to destroy Democracy. Or Fauci. Because he already did.

But not to worry, because soon Artificial Intelligence is going to prevent the wrong kind of speech from going around our Global Village, and we can forget absurdity. Right?

Right?

Hey, this Substack post is in my series entitled Hillary Clinton and Satan Walk into a Bar. It’s a setup for a punchline. But no punchline today; just two questions:

1. In June, 2024, is Satan absurd?

2. In June, 2024, is Hillary Clinton absurd?